Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize