I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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