Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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