im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Life is so much better after having sex.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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