Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My hand turned me down
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
