Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
