Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
