You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
