I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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