the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
