I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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