So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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