I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
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Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
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So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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