sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
