Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize