You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
pray to the hookup gods
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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