it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
