You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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