I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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