God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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