On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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