Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
