I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
