Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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