I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We have started to decorate penises.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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