All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
