And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
