Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
