its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
