hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
love makes seman taste better
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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