Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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