every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
