I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
