Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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