Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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