The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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