So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize