youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
