Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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