dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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