nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
