Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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