I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
