what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
