The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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