I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
