I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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