I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just google imaged poop.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
