did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize