Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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