you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize