My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
