he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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