and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My hand turned me down
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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