It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
