well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
