I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
