i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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